


Beside you,

by alezander



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Arson, Books, Brothers, Coffee Shops, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dancing, Demons, Domestic Violence, Dorms, Drugs, F/M, Fire, First Dance, First Meetings, Foot Jobs, Graduation, Hospitals, Human Realm, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kissing, Library, Lingerie, M/M, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Morning Cuddles, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm, Tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alezander/pseuds/alezander
Summary: There is a person he is interested in. Bold. Obstinate. A person so disagreeable that he could not help being drawn to.He couldn't look away. He didn't want to.
Relationships: Lucifer & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 96





	1. "Endure it, like I always do."

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set one school year before [Just look at me.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436918/chapters/58961677) which is Leviathan's story. I'd be happy if you can read that one as well.
> 
> Have a nice day!

"I swear these formalities will kill me."

Satan grumbled under his breath. Normally the Devildom had only two versions of its weather, clear starry night or manic thunderclouds booming and flashing over their heads. Today featured the latter, and so the entire student body at RAD, Satan and his brothers, the demon prince and his butler, gathered outdoors in their demon forms despite the raging rain. The RAD Newspaper club's president Mephistopheles was also there, audio recorder in hand while his assistant took pictures to use for the newspaper.

Just seeing all these demons together so early in the morning, standing drenched in front of the swirling portal that was going to send the next two demons to the human realm, annoyed the hell out of Satan. He felt ridiculous making a big deal out of an exchange student program which was, in his opinion, shallow at best. To be fair, he was rarely in a good mood to begin with. Still, this was not the best day to be doing this.

"Good morning everyone!" Lord Diavolo greeted with that devious, unreadable smile on his face. He appeared energetic and powerful as ever, rain droplets coursing down his tanned muscles. Despite reminding himself not to, Satan's gaze shot towards his brother Lucifer, who looked helplessly strung in front of the demon prince.

_Fucking disgusting._

He could not stomach the heated way his brother looked at Lord Diavolo, the way he acted like a loyal dog who was desperate to please its master. He hated how someone like Lucifer could find someone that mattered to him more than himself. Lucifer, who was supposed to be the avatar of pride. It was not fair. None of it was.

To Satan, who was born of Lucifer's immense emotions during the Great Celestial War, something like finding a special person and falling in love was outside of his capabilities. Unlike the others who used to be angels and so are capable of understanding positive emotion, he was born solely to bear the burden of anger. His brothers were complete persons, good and bad, light and darkness. Satan? He was merely a half.

The first time he noticed that he was different, Satan's only solace was the fact that Lucifer probably was incapable of love just like he was. Because Satan came from him. But the prideful firstborn learned to do it, to love. _Selfishly birthing me, then selfishly abandoning me._ It was such a hypocritic thing to do, and it left Satan feeling betrayed.

"I won't bore you with a speech. Today, we are seeing off two demons for our annual student exchange program. This year's picks are both very high profile demons. Satan, the avatar of wrath, and Beelzebub, the avatar of gluttony." The demon prince gestured for the two mentioned brothers to step forward, clapping his hand on their shoulders when they stood on either side of him. "It pleases me to be represented by such powerful demons. May your will be greater than your sins during your time in the human realm."

The demon prince beamed and nodded before releasing them to say their farewells to the others present. The twins hugged. Asmodeus gave both of them small boxes and winked, whispering "open it when you need it". Belphegor looked like all he prepared for Satan was a hug which morphed into a civil handshake when the two of them cringed. Off to the side, Lucifer was giving Beelzebub a last minute lecture on etiquette, reading the atmosphere and keeping his hunger in check.

Meanwhile, Mammon just stood there staring at Satan with a thoughtful expression. "Spit it out, Mammon." He goaded, disliking the direct gaze from a usually unfocused idiot. The Ruri-chan stress ball that Leviathan gave him earlier sat pinched in his fist.

"You volunteered for the exchange, didn't ya?" The secondborn asked, flapping the rain off his wings. "I think you're running away from something here. I ain't asking for the reason. I just wantcha to make sure that you don't let your sin ruin your stay over there. Smile more, alright?" He chuckled, patting Satan's head and ruffling his wet blonde hair.

Was the idiot trying to cheer him up just now? Satan was not used to this sensible Mammon. "I think I misjudged you, Mammon." He grumbled, unsure of how to react. Until now, the avatar of greed has always been the stupidest and silliest among them. But he was a better big brother than Lucifer.

"Satan."

 _Fuck_. It was Lucifer's turn. Satan looked away, wearing a mask of indifference. "Yes sir."

"Take care of yourself there. I know you'll be fine."

 _Is that it?_ It took him a lot of effort to not scoff in Lucifer's face. "Of course." He replied, and that was it. Lucifer stepped away from him, but not before slipping something cold and metal in his hand. It was a metal bookmark, curved to the shape of a hook with grooves etched on the surface. Reading the etched words, he realized that it was a demon summoning spell written in demonic language. Activating it would summon his brother to his side.

Objectively speaking, it was a very sincere gift. But Satan only felt sick in his stomach. _Doesn't he know I'm doing this to get away from him?_

Lord Diavolo spoke a few more words, Mephistopheles took a couple more pictures, then it was finally time to go. Beelzebub stepped up beside him, and after one last wave at Devildom, he stepped into the shimmering portal's surface. Satan grit his teeth. He was not going to look behind him.

With his lips pursed, he went through the portal and instantly felt the loss of something solid against his feet. His pulse quickened, fear gripping him unexpectedly. There was the feeling of his body elongating like a rubber band, before it snapped back into shape. The next thing he knew, he was standing in a small chapel in the middle of day. There was no one else except for Beelzebub who looked around, a small pout in his lips.

"I'm hungry." He mumbled under his breath, but then his stomach went ahead and made the louder announcement for him. The building's foundations shook when the sound of his growling stomach bounced around the walls.

"How ironic, two demons showing up inside a place for holy worship." Satan commented as they walked down the aisle towards the exit. The one thing he could not tear his eyes away from was the sunlight. There was so much of it. It was everywhere, surrounding the entire place in a warm glow. Rays of it poured down from cracks in the ceiling or from tinted glass on windows. Satan stared, fascinated at the colors that spilled on the cemented floor.

"Barbatos arranged well." Beelzebub supplemented. Prior to their deployment, it was mentioned that the demon prince had requested aid from the Celestial Realm for safe and undetected arrival of the demon brothers.

The chapel sat on a hill in a quiet subdivision in the suburbs. It was only a little way out the city so the two chose to walk to the academy. They were equipped with human world currency but they were not sure how much was worth a ride considering it has been a while for both of them since their last visit, perhaps a couple of centuries. Anyway, this was a great opportunity to observe modern human lifestyle.

The bad news was that Beelzebub was already hungry, and walking made him hungrier. Plus they were stuck at an intersection, both somewhat intimidated by the crowds rushing to cross the streets. If only Beelzebub could transform and fly them over to the other side of the street.

The good news was that a pretty lady noticed their challenged expressions and graciously offered her assistance. She was very beautiful, flowing copper hair in a ponytail with bright, friendly eyes. She was surrounded by a dozen of toddlers that followed her like baby ducklings when the light turned green. The demons crossed the street safely with them, said their thanks and went on their way.

The enrolment papers were already fixed and processed when they showed up at the academy hours later, which was a good thing since Satan could not bear to stand on his feet any longer. The walk turned out to be a very long one and Beelzebub was a real handful to keep from barging and eating an entire restaurant. If he could, the avatar of wrath would pefer to keep out of the way of his glutton of a brother.

"Thanks Satan." Beelzebub said when they settled into the dorm room where their things were already waiting. After their hastily made introductions, they were both welcomed extravagantly by the human world branch RAD director with a graciously made meal, but nothing could prepare the humans for the demons' stomachs. Even Satan himself was only a straw short of feeding on a horse.

"I've never had a roommate other than Belphie but having you is better than no one." The sixthborn beamed, looking a little happy now that he had eaten.

"It's alright. There's no reason for me to turn down the room assignment since you especially asked." Satan plopped on his bed after brushing his teeth. He was so tired he could fall asleep right then. Beelzebub seemed to understand because he quickly turned off the lights and climbed to bed. They exchanged good nights and went to sleep.

But try as he might, Satan could not fall asleep. Unexpectedly, he could not find it in him to calm down, to the point that his head ached. He realized that he was desperate for the familiar smell of his room at the House of Lamentation, the infused scent of books and musk. _I asked for this_. But did he make the right decision? Was leaving Devildom supposed to make him feel better? Will this boiling, frustrating, inescapable hate towards _everything_ ever go away?

Usually during such a time when that feral monster inside got the better of him, Satan would indulge himself with a good book until the bad thoughts dulled and went away. But more and more he had begun to realize that doing this was only a temporary measure. Just like with coffee, just like with those adorable creatures in the human realm called cats. Take away these things and any moment he was going to explode.

"I should endure it. Like I always do." The demon muttered to himself as he gradually drifted into fitful sleep.

.....

It was not long into the exchange when Satan's control was tested.

It had been five days now. Five days since he found out that someone had checked out the book that he wanted to read. The first time he went, the librarian told him that the book was due for return that day, so he grudgingly stayed late, expecting that the borrower should be back anytime before the library closed for the day.

But no. Apparently the borrower was bold enough to hog the book all to themselves, without fear of reproach. Satan had been edgy ever since, impatience eating at his wits. He hated waiting, he hated it when he could not get his fix. Satan hated a lot of things, but right now he hated this unknown borrower who was selfishly keeping the book the most.

"Whoever has stolen that book must be hunted down and have their library card forfeited." Satan complained, seething at the librarian so much that he was only short of transforming into his demon form. "And while you are at it, could you enlighten me on why you allow such a rare book be checked out? It should be kept here where it's safe since it's so precious!"

Not good. He had been here since early morning, waiting and waiting. Now it was noon and having spent all of that time on a seemingly fruitless endeavor made his volatile demon blood boil. "How is it that the book was not returned yet?!"

The librarian on duty could only shrink away from him as far as the counter allowed. "S-Sir, please calm down. This is a library."

Oh. _Have I... lost control again?_

Satan looked down on his hands which apparently had just slammed the countertop. He turned them over and tried counting the lines slowly. One by one until he could feel the anger seep back into his core, far from the surface. Exhaling, he turned his attention back to the librarian who still trembled in front of him. He knew an apology was underway, but he was cut off when someone stepped up to the counter.

"S'cuse me. I'd like to return this book."

There was the distinct whiff of books and gasoline on this person. Frowning, Satan turned and stared at the newly-arrived boy whose features were not any of particular note, except for the uneven trim of his hair and his superb slouch. Large dark circles around his eyes. He was very slim too with a small frame. _Almost like a girl_ , Satan thought when his gaze gravitated towards the book that was being returned. And then he realized. This boy was it! The selfish scum that monopolized the book! 

"You-"

"Calm down, Blondie. I heard everything." The boy had the librarian sign his borrower's card, uncaring nonchalance in his tone. When the book was officially returned, he held out the book card to the demon. "Take it. You wanted to read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle so bad, right? You even screamed in here."

There was something condescending in the way those words were calmly spoken. The tone felt familiar and Satan knew who this boy reminded him of. Wordlessly, the demon snatched the card from the other's fingers and stared at it. He read the name on the card, his lips snarling to form the sounds. _Tastes like prideful scum_ , the demon thought. The boy only smirked, returning Satan's glare with an equally fierce gaze. There was fire there somewhere, dulled and beaten, just waiting for the right time to erupt.

"Yes, that's me. Nice to meet you, Blondie."


	2. Blondie & Hogger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Satan and the human have a 'chat'.

  
There were things that could be left unspoken and ignored for days. Weeks and months. Even years. Little habits like dropping cigarette butts everywhere in the house. Subtle tics like the creasing of a corner of the lips followed by a heaved grunt. Glances empty of affection but overflowing with so much hate. Sometimes wild things happen, like threatening with a knife at two in the morning or roughly grabbing hair until her body dragged across the loose gravel outside, skin mauled and littered with tiny stones. Yelling and cursing, bruises and a torn lip.

All of these were ordinary. Perhaps excessive, but more often than not, it became easier to think that all of this was happening because she was a bad child. Somewhere along the way, it became apparent that _she_ was the mistake. Not the woman called 'mother' leaving, not the unpaid bills or the hundreds of empty bottles lying in the house. No, it was her. All her. She deserved this clusterfuck of a father, this abuse of a life.

It did not even surprise her that another seething, screaming _creature_ would come barging into her life. At the library of all places, the only haven she felt she could breathe easily. His livid green eyes looked fiery despite the usually calming hue. He appeared to be accustomed to being angry, she knew, because the moment their eyes met he was able to hold it in. _A pretentious prick_. She knew one when she saw one, mostly because she was the same. Someone who could only bottle up resentment and laugh along. If it did not drive her mad first.

After that initial meeting with the blonde, somehow the frequency of their paths crossing increased, or maybe they just started to notice each other more. He would blatantly roll his eyes and mutter a few choice words that could cause flowers to wilt whenever they happened upon each other in the hallways between lectures, or when they bumped into each other in the library.

This open and straightforward display of contempt amused her though. Perhaps it was because she was used to being hated that it did not discomfort her in any way. It was familiar. Maybe that was why she could not help but want to be closer to him, aggravating him at any chance she got.

"Hey there, Blondie."

She sat down on the seat in front of him, placing her books beside him. As usual, he was at the library at this hour, same as her schedule. The library closed pretty late even on weekdays and it was a quiet place which did not make it a bad hangout. Plus her dad could never find her here.

"The fuck do you want, Hogger?"

"Wow. Do you say that to people right off the bat?"

He flipped a page, his eyes fixed on the book. He looked absolutely relaxed, his features soft and approachable if he could just cut back on the cursing. That part did not bother her though.

"Only to you." He sighed, probably just beginning to be annoyed. "I'm reading right now. Go away."

The way he half mindedly waved his hand to shoo her away was entertaining too. She could not quite put her finger on it, but something about him was just so refreshing for her. Maybe it was the harsh words minus the beating? "Hey Blondie, just stop will you? That book is terrible and you know it. Chat with me instead."

That got him to look up, his expression looking as if he had had enough. "Well you're not wrong. The book is shit." He admitted, closing the book and sliding it aside. He fixed his eyes on hers as he clasped his hands together. "So you wanted to chat."

It was not a question, but she explained anyway. "Yes. I'm bored and the book I wanted is being sent for repairs. These," she gestured to the stack of books beside her. "These aren't very interesting to deserve a reread." His eyes widened a little as he regarded her books, appearing to be surprised at her selections. "I know, I know. They're classics, critically acclaimed works. They're just not _it_ for me, you know? I like books where the writing is a little unpolished and the protagonist's life is so pathetic that in the end all they have to blame is themselves."

"That is an oddly specific, depressing taste. Are you sure you're not self projecting, Hogger?" He asked, leaning forward a bit. His gaze was more penetrating than most that she found it somewhat unsettling. It made her feel transparent and _seen_.

The thought that she might be unable to play a farce in front of him was disarming, but also very titillating. Someone who could force her to be honest. The idea was frightening but sweet. However as much as his straightforwardness interested her, it displeased her to be so easily called out.

"And what if I am?" She taunted, feeling just the slightest bit defensive. She could feel her skin prickling up. Many people in the past had tried cornerning her like this but she always lashed back out. _This guy shouldn't be any different._

"I just don't see the point of reading something that reminds you of yourself. Don't you want to read an adventure that is so far removed from this reality?"

His reply was actually spoken without snark for once. She fell silent, staring at him while he eyed her back.

"I heard that huge orangehead is your brother. Is that true?"

He blinked once, seemingly surprised at her change in topic. "Yes."

"You guys are totally different, though. He's super popular and many people want to befriend him." She said, recalling that one time she passed by a thick throng of RAD students just following the orangehaired exchange student around with tributes of snacks and food in hand. Meanwhile, this guy in front of her was always alone with a book. She knew a ton of students who would shake in his presence from fear of being yelled or scowled at. _Like a small, ferocious barking dog_ , she thought. "Do you two get along?"

"He's not my least favorite brother." His cheek twitched when he answered, a dark cloud passing his face. It made her curious of course, but she did not ask about it. Even she had things she would hate being pried about.

"So you have more siblings?" She imagined little versions of Blondie stomping around and fussing over books just like the older version. She mentally smiled. She had always wanted a little brother to take care of and hang out with.

"I have six brothers." He answered, frowning slightly and a suspicious expression on his face. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," she quickly said, the smile she tried so hard to hide spilling out as a little chuckle gripped her. "Haha, that's a lot of brothers."

This was just idle talk. Useless information tossed around. But it was surprisingly _fun_. She did not really have any friends because she was generally an unpleasant person to be around with. Chalk that up to growing up with a crazy father. It has been too long since she had someone who could talk to like this.

"You don't look like the type who enjoys books. Are you a poser?" He asked, eyeing her from across the table still appearing unamused. "Who would want to pose as a bookworm though?"

 _Judgemental punk._ She clicked her tongue as she reached for a book from her pile and cracked it open. "Look at this. Look at how the paste-down sticks to the inner board." She pointed at the inner portion of the hardback book cover. "The hinge is supposed to be the part that creases when the book closes, but because the paste-down wasn't done well, the hinge tore and now we have a slowly dilapidating book." She explained before moving on to the next book stacked. Turning the page to the third chapter, she turned the book around and pointed to the enlarged first letter of the first paragraph. "See the drop cap? This book always uses a fancy drop cap but this chapter has a plain one. For the entire story, only two other chapters have plain drop caps. For those chapters, nothing happens and the protagonist is given a breather."

 _Oh. I spoke too much_. Their eyes met when she looked up, and the uninterested glaze in his eyes was gone. "So you want to be a book designer?" He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice. Hearing such a tone from him felt like an achievement. She grinned, feeling shy now that he was paying attention.

"Hm, who knows?" It has always been her secret wish to make an entire fictional world take physical shape. "Me, I just want to live a life where every chapter has a plain drop cap. Now _that_ would be a blast." She closed her eyes, trying to imagine it.

He did not look convinced though. "Unless you're prepared to cut off some people, that scenario isn't very viable." The way he spoke had a hard edge to it. Anger and loneliness embedded together. His eyes narrowed and he sighed again. It occurred to her that he was probably very tired of _something_. "But I cannot do that. He's my brother."

That took her by surprise. She did not expect him to be so direct. His revelation warranted an honest reply from her too. "For me, it's my dad." It came out as a whisper. She had never spoken about this with anyone before. This had become more than just a casual chat. "I'm starting to like you, Blondie."

"It's Satan." He propped his hand against his chin, a small smirk on his lips. As if the formalities were finished and she passed them all, so now the parts of him that felt forced were finally tossed away. Maybe he liked talking with her too? "I hate being called Blondie. My name is Satan."

He looked so serious that she burst out laughing, regardless of the disapproving looks she garnered from the other few library patrons staying this late in the night. "That's weird. I heard you came from a place far, far away from here but to think you were from _that_ far." She was just joking, of course. He could not possibly have come from hell, _psh_. What sensible mother would give her son the devil's name?

He did not look like he was going to join her laughing soon so she stopped. "I'll say your name right if you do the same for me. I'm not Hogger. My name is...?" She trailed off while making an expectant face, prompting him to say her name. He looked just the slightest bit entertained. And when his lips formed the sounds, he quickly looked away and cleared his throat.

"You have a girly name for a boy." He commented, green eyes darting down his book and not meeting hers.

_He thinks I'm-_

But she could not exactly blame him for thinking that. She was not blessed with the stature and figure that was distinct on well developed women. Her wardrobe consisted of loose, faded hand-me-downs from her father which were much definitely a far cry from 'girly'. She also had cropped hair now after impulsively cutting it the day that she and Satan first met. Her dad had gotten even more violent than usual that morning, grabbing her hair and dragging her around the house. Cutting her hair was just a small act of rebellion.

"Excuse me." The librarian spoke when she came up to their table. "Closing time's in ten minutes."

Satan leaned back on his chair, his movement bringing to her attention how different his position was from when they started talking. He pulled on his sweater to check his watch, his eyes widening. "Shit, it's almost midnight."

"Going somewhere?" She asked, mirroring him arranging his things, although he was a little hasty.

"No, stupid. The dorm curfew was ages ago. We're screwed." He gathered his books in his arms to return them, and with one quick glance at her pile, picked them up too.

 _Why's he helping me,_ she vaguely wondered as she unconsciously followed him to the shelves. "Don't call me stupid, and I'm not screwed. I don't live in the dorm 'cause it's too expensive." She watched Satan return the books expertly, the number of hours he had spent in the library showing in his confident strides. Soon the pile was gone and he wordlessly handed her the last book which she automatically placed where it belonged. 

"How did you enroll here if it's too expensive for you?" He turned to face her, his back to a bookshelf. Here in this enclosed space, his voice sounded breathy and just a little loud. Loud enough for her to forget that there was a world beyond the two of them.

"I'm on a special scholarship. I've worked here as an assistant janitor for years before the old janitor who hired me retired. I think RAD valued him a lot so they didn't reject his suggestion to let me enroll. Now I just clean and maintain the incinerator twice a week."

She had always been fond of the old janitor who was more of a father to her than her real dad. Sometimes she would imagine being his daughter, but that would also transform her into a massive crying mess, especially since the old janitor died last year. _Why_ _can't my dad be like..._ Without warning, her eyes started watering and she had to turn away and wipe them off. "S-Sorry, I... ughhh..."

Slapping her cheeks, she willed the tears to stop until they did. But then when she turned back to Satan, he looked like he had been caught doing something he did not plan to do. She looked from him, to his awkwardly lifted hand hovering near her shoulder, then back again to him. He looked sort of taken aback by himself when he withdrew his hand.

"What's this, were you gonna comfort me?" She joked, but his silence made her second guess. Strange. Rather than hating her vulnerability, she actually felt calmer with him beside her. She chuckled, trying to diffuse the weird feeling she got in her stomach when she caught their breaths syncing.

"Go on back to the dorm. Lots of times wasted frat boys still get in even after midnight. So, um, see you around," she trailed, tucking her hands into her hoodie pockets. She smiled a last time before slinging her bag on her shoulder and turning around to leave. The librarian exchanged goodbyes with her when she walked out the door.

 _What the hell was that?_ She was already outside the library when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Wait." It was Satan, looking serious as ever with a determined purse of his lips. "I'll walk you home." He said, but as soon as spoke he looked like he instantly wanted to take back his words. "It's not good to be walking outside alone this late, even if you're a man."

"Ah, about that. I'm not going home yet." She gripped the straps of her bag, unsure of how to perceive this sudden protectiveness from Satan. "Besides that house isn't a home." She added in a mumble. 

Staying out late was one thing, but ever since her dad woke up in the middle of the night suddenly attacking and clawing at her, she had not been able to feel safe sleeping at the house. She knew it was high time for her to move out and get her own place. She even saved enough for a tiny studio apartment once. She could do it again. Staying any longer would kill her one day.

"Then let's go to a study café." Satan declared, his hand suddenly taking hold of her wrist and tugging her down the steps outside the library. This was unexpected, even from someone as unreadable as Satan.

She was silent as she tagged behind him, but he nevertheless sensed the questioning look she was making.

"I don't like having to explain myself to the dorm manager just because I missed the curfew. I'm not a kid."

_He's kind of childish when he's stubborn like that._

"And you're not doing this because you suddenly want to spend more time with me?"

She was just teasing, really, but there was that silence again. She sighed. It was difficult to keep guessing what he was thinking, but it was not too much work. At least Satan was not into beating her, unlike someone else she knew.

"I don't have money for coffee." She told him as she followed from behind, absentmindedly wanting to touch the clean trim of his neckline. "Will you treat me?"

He nodded. The slight tightening of his grip on her wrist made her wonder what it was that he made him want to stick close to her. "You'll accompany me until you feel like going home, alright? Then I'll walk you home if you do."

She hummed in assent, her attention falling on her held wrist as they walked. For her, getting caught like this meant another hour of having her dad yell in her ear. But Satan's grip was different. She did not feel fear or hate, just simple curiosity and the desire to be closer. The bubby excitement of perhaps making a new friend was unfamiliar, but it felt nice.

 _I could get used to this,_ she thought, watching his back as he walked ahead of her.


	3. The little clovers tell me

Five months into the exchange, the two demons had practically gotten used to their daily life as students in the human realm. The human branch for RAD was called a university, so it was not uncommon that the two demon brothers were mostly separated for their courses. The two of them did not take up majors since the exchange is only going to be for a year, but the circles' recruitments were vicious. So vicious that Satan was forced to enter a Gothic literature circle.

Beelzebub, on the other hand, was not interested in entering any of the desperate varsity teams that wanted him. Partly because he was too strong to play against them thus risking fatal injuries with every game, but mainly because he was rarely on campus whenever he had free time. Satan worried that he might have to deal with complaints from restaurants in the area about a gluttonous devil ransacking their kitchens. However as far as he knew, there were no news about the sort so the fourthborn was not too worried.

Five months. A semester had come and went. Satan was more than pleased to spend his time in a comfy, library seat. The amenities in a modern human library were impressive to say the least. Back in the Devildom, library care was sparse and the books were 'aesthetically' left dusty, barely catalogued, and hardly maintained. Satan duly noted the facilities he would definitely have installed once he came back home. Thinking of it that way, Satan convinced himself that he would not mind asking for Lucifer's permission. In fact, these days he did not mind the thought of just plain _talking_ with his older brother all that much.

But the issue about the library upgrades was not the only thing he found himself wanting to talk to Lucifer about. There... is a person he is interested in. Bold. Obstinate. A troublemaker. A person so disagreeable to others that he could not help wondering what it would be like being inside such a person's circle. But then before he knew it, he was _already_ there. This person, a human, seemed like a demon in its own right, because just when Satan started missing them, the human would appear. Like a supernatural sensor of some sort.

"Hey," the human surprised the demon again by approaching him suddenly from his blind spot. The human giggled, uncharacteristically so for a boy, but a trait which Satan found so goddamned disarming. The boy's close cropped hair had grown longer with the months, framing a pair of freakishly round eyes that made the demon fidget if stared at for too long. Heavy lashes, a tenderly sloped nose, dainty lips and a moonlike paleness. He knew that attraction to appearances were shallow at best, but this human, with their incessant playful jabs at his seriousness, little moments of vulnerability, and that fiery focus when pasting book pieces together- undeniably they gripped at him, like a reader stuck on a cliffhanger ending. Putting all these things together, the demon found himself a bestfriend. Many times, the demon caught himself denying the pleasant sensations that came along with being with the boy. Even so, Satan could not wrap his head around the fact that he found this particular human so, so so _so_ cute.

Henceforth, Satan mentally noted, he absolutely needed that discussion with his brother to happen at some point.

"You're frowning too much, you'll scare away potential customers." The human pointed out as they took a seat in front of the demon, who eyed the human with nonchalance as if to hide the fact that he had been waiting for the other for a little over an hour. The human showed no clue about this, and Satan wordlessly straightened his back and relaxed his face. "Much better." The human commented.

Ever since their talk that one late evening in the library, Satan and the human began frequenting this café. It was not a verbal thing, it just happened on its own. The boy would find Satan to pester him, then Satan would invite the human to coffee. Before they knew it, they had blazed through an entire afternoon just sitting and reading across each other.

Sometimes Satan would lift his eyes from the page and stare at the human. He would notice another bruise here, a faded scratch there. Apparently, the abuse in their home continued, but the boy would only simmer in anger in Satan's presence for a few silent moments, clenching their fist so tight that the knuckles would turn white. This would persist for a good half hour, before the boy eventually calmed down with a book. _Just like me_ , Satan thought. But not quite. Every person's anger is different, and Satan came to understand this well as he watched over his human friend. And unfortunately, sometimes the human would bring that bottled anger to the academy like a prized lunchbox, opened to share with others. In other words, the boy would pick a fight with someone, provoking his target until a familiar scene of violence unfolded. Many of the boy's enemies came back for more, bringing hordes with them. Bullying sown by the bullied. Satan had never seen such recklessness before.

Maybe it was the predictability that came along with such a toxic dynamic that made the boy wish for it. Outside home, there is no limit called _father_. At least in this way, the human could exert some desperately needed control. Knowing this, Satan could not think of the human's actions as stupid. Perhaps foolish, as they lacked a sense of self-preservation, but eternally collecting anger was just as self destructive. Satan understood all of it. He wanted to involve himself somehow but turning into his demon form to scare the human's dad was probably too much. He just wanted to try seeing the human without a new injury for once. He was thinking too much about helping the boy that the demon suspected that he was losing IQ by the day.

"Why are you here?" He asked the human, who only shrugged and took out a heavy, dishevelled hardcover book and placed it on the table. Satan was used to this routine, where the human would inspect and attempt to refurbish the book. The human did not answer for some time as their equipment was taken out of a canvass bag. When a response was given, it was about something that Satan did not expect to be brought up at all.

"I was just wondering who you're taking to the winter ball."

"Oh, that." Satan had heard enough of the subject. Being a 'foreigner' and an exchange student, he and Beelzebub had both been approached by countless women and men, and even professors, as dates to the ball. Like some hot commodity. Satan crinkled his nose that the thought and went back to his book with huff. "I'm going alone." He answered in an aloof tone, but then thought twice about it and sneakily added. "You?"

"I'm taking someone." The boy replied with a smirk, looking very pleased with himself. That caught Satan's attention.

"Oh? Who's the lady?"

"I'm taking myself, dumbass."

The demon was not amused at the boy's word choice, although a notable sigh of relief left him knowing that both of them would be going without dates. To think that he, Satan, the avatar of wrath, was actually relieved about such a thing.

"Hm." The demon hummed, pretending as if he was in thought when in fact he was debating whether he should try saying what it was he intended to say. "Well, how about the two of us go together?"

There was a beat, and in that moment the two of them chose to look up and meet each other's eyes. Satan, for the first time in his centuries of living, felt shivers down his back. Something gripped the breath in his chest, making it difficult to think clearly. Then the human smiled, a loopsided one that tugged at Satan's core. And he stared, because it was impossible to look away.

"Dude, you're making me nervous." The boy leaned forward and lightly punched the demon's shoulder, paprika colored cheeks tainting the paleness of their skin. "Yeah. I'd like that."

...

_I've gone and done it._ Satan continuously thought over the next two weeks, his demon brain surprisingly unsure what to make of the situation he put himself in. He had clearly asked the human out not because he thought it through, but because he simply _wanted_ to. "So yeah, I've never felt this way before." The fourthborn finished, arms crossed in front his chest from embarrassment as his brother eyed him from across their dorm room.

"You like this human, Satan, and not in the way that you like your books or cats." Beelzebub grinned and made his way over to the other demon. Satan knew it was coming, but it did not spare his breath from getting knocked out of him when his brother pulled him into a crushing hug. "I'm so proud. You found someone important, huh?" Beelzebub chuckled before releasing him. "Will you introduce this boy to me sometime?"

_Introduce?_ Satan's anxiety spiked. He was not used to anything remotely like this, so he covertly dodged the question with his own. "But Beel, do you have a date for the dance tomorrow?" Satan asked, clearing his throat awkwardly. Beelzebub noticed the turn of tables, of course, but he did not pry further.

"Yeah." He beamed, patting Satan's shoulder before going back to his own bed. He was smiling when he pulled the covers over himself, his gaze lofting dreamily at the ceiling. "I'm bringing someone I really, really like. As much as cheeseburgers. No, even more than cheeseburgers." He had a frown on his face, as if he was trying to decide if denouncing his ultimate love for cheeseburgers was worth it. But then he smiled, seemingly at peace with it.

That hopeful and content look on Beelzebub's face as he went to sleep stuck in Satan's head, even until the moment when he was in the huge, luxurious ballroom at the RAD human branch. He was standing next to his brother who, for someone who suddenly disappeared early that morning, was now sporting cropped hair with tapered sides. "You got your hair cut?" Satan asked, but Beelzebub was a little lost in thought so he had to repeat the question.

"Hm? Ah, yeah..." The glutton answered before chewing his lip in a distracted manner as he intently watched the foyer.

"Beel? Something wrong?"

The sixthborn turned his head. For a moment, his brother's eyes met with Satan's, looking as if he was about to say something. But then the moment was past and he excused himself. "She's here," Beelzebub spoke quietly as he went on his way, but not before showing his brother a smile which, Satan noticed, was not as bright as it usually was. "I'm fine, worry about yourself first, 'kay? I'll see you later." He said, and he was off.

Just then Satan felt a shift in the air and when he craned his neck, he saw a familiar figure at the other side of the room. Without realizing it he had begun to make his way across, a small smile on his face and a bubble of excitement in his throat. _His_ human had just walked into the ballroom, looking very dashing in a fully black four piece suit. The clothes looked old, expensive and just a little bit big on their shoulders, but the regalia was pulled off nicely. This was the most refined he had seen the human, so it was not strange when there was no shortage on the number of turned heads. Both men and women stared and _looked_ , visibly confused yet astonished, wondering who this unrecognizable butterfly could be.

But Satan. Satan knew who _she_ was.

"You're a girl." He spoke quietly right into her modestly adorned ear. A rush of electricity crawled down to his toes when he stood close to her. He felt unhinged. All this time he had mistaken her for a boy, but the thing was that she did not bother to correct him. In fact, this realization only made her even more lovelier to him. Someone who could be so accepting and fluid because she was not limited to the body given to her. "You... look really good." Satan blurted, breath caught in his throat. Damn, all the big words he prepared to compliment her and he could only come up with 'good'.

Clearly she read his mind. "Oh, what's this? Your failing vocabulary disappoints me, Satan. I thought you prided knowledge above anything else. What was it you keep saying? Knowledge gains respect, respect gives power." She teased, mimicking his serious expression exaggeratedly with a chuckle in her voice.

_So cute_. Satan could not help but stare. He was not sure if it was possible to know such a thing, but he was pretty sure that his pupils were dilated as wide as they could go. And quite frankly he was already blushing. "Quit it. I only said what I honestly thought."

"Well, thank you." She responded goodnaturedly, looking as if she was having fun.

"Will you dance with me?"

His question made her pause, her eyes searching his. It looked like there was a shift in them, like awareness coming to the forefront of her mind. The demon wondered if he made it obvious right then that he was crushing on her, but that was not the question she asked. "There are lots of other girls?"

It was no outright refusal, however it almost served the same purpose. Her hesitation was understandable. Someone as high profile as him was bound to attract attention. There was a crowd forming, and among them were jealous faces, surprised faces, intrigued faces. Judgement, and so much of it. But that did not matter to Satan. For once in his life, his vision tunneled not on hating Lucifer, not on hating everything, but on making this special girl say yes.

"I want my first dance to be with you."

He insisted, speaking in a tone that indicated how far he was from backing off. The smirk that found its way on her lips erased the reluctance from her eyes.

"You earned it." She replied, laughing as she stretched her hand out to clasp his, with hers underneath. "But I will lead."

And she really did. Their proximity affected Satan unexpectedly, in a way that was similar to being drugged. He felt happy and stupid, like a horse with blinders on, unable to see anywhere else but straight at her. Without warning, she twirled him and he fumbled backwards but she caught him before they smashed into another pair. "You're not a very good lead." He complained, to which she just responded with a light pinch to his side.

"My bad, this is my first dance too."

Satan's heart did _not_ just race at the thought of them mutually having each other's first dances. It was just so silly to cling onto it like it meant something. _Calm down, demon._ He reminded himself as he took her hand in his. "My turn." He whispered, before sidestepping and pulling her towards him. She was so light that Satan had to move in smaller steps so she would not lose her balance. "Put your hand here." He instructed, placing her hand on his shoulder while he held her waist.

"Wait, this is really close."

It was true, because Satan could feel her breath tickling his neck. Something hot inside him surged and made itself known. His muscles tensed, making him sensitive to the way how his human was just there, practically in his arms. He liked her, sure, but he was not prepared for the urges that came along with it. _Calm the fuck down, demon._ He grit his teeth. This was not looking good for him.

"You wanna take a break?" She offered, looking up to him with suppressed concern. "It's quiet over there." She pointed to a veranda that was to the direction of the gardens. She led the way and Satan followed, feeling bad about how his thoughts about _touching_ her were just about to become really graphic. The urges inside him were a little too feral and unfamiliar for his liking. _Maybe I'll ask Asmo for some tips later._

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." She released his hand and stood next to the balustrade. Satan watched her from behind as she looked at the big full moon in the night sky, stretching as she breathed in the smell of the garden flowers below them. "Your brother over there looks smitten." She said as she sat down on the balustrade, patting the space next to her. The night air was just a little chilly, and although the situation did not allow the demon the cliché of giving her his blazer, he sat close to her, their fingers a mere inch apart.

"Yes. They look nice together." Satan agreed, glancing at Beelzebub and his partner dancing. _We look good too, don't we?_ He wanted to say, but maybe it would come across as vain. He just wanted to know if the thought of them together did not gross her or something.

"Hey, Satan."

"Hm?"

"You know, these are my dad's clothes." She started, fingers fiddling with her necktie. "He's been kind to me recently. He was the one who suggested I wear this for the ball." She swallowed, then sighed. Satan braced himself as his gaze fell on her tightly clasped hands. In a moment he had taken one of them and laced her hand with his. She looked surprised, but then she gave a small smile and gripped back. "I was thinking that this might be it, you know? Maybe we'll start talking and having good times again, just like how we were before mom left." She turned and faced him, and he did the same. It felt like the world was far away when their eyes met. "Maybe things will get better?"

Satan's chest seemed to have imploded, crushed by the uncertainty in her words. He could feel it, the way she was treading carefully on the possibility of her family becoming whole again. What hurt to see the most was the lack of faith in that proposition. The tinge of disbelief, and yet, hope, in her expression. Dear lord of demons, what did this human go through to be this deep in despair?

"You have me." He said, speaking his words softly. "Regardless of what happens." He could not have possibly tell her that things would definitely improve. Getting her hopes up would be just cruel. All he could assure her was himself. "If you need anything, you can always call me."

"How valiant." She teased, leaning close to prop her chin on his shoulder. This was bolder than most times she had ever gotten near him. "What if I don't need anything? Can I still call you?"

That made Satan scoff, mostly in effort to not grin widely like an idiot. Their faces were _so_ goddamned close, and she was play-flirting. Even if she was just joking, it made the butterflies in Satan's stomach mad with feelings. "Of course." He answered, looking away from her. "We're buddies, aren't we?"

"I wonder about that." She straightened up, tapping her twined fingers on the back of his hand. "You know what I like to call you in my mind?"

_What is this now? My heart can't take it._ In the past, this kind of conversation would have made Satan leave the room cringing in five seconds, but now he could only pretend that he was still breathing properly. "I don't know, Angry Blondie?" 

"Haha, sure. I'll use that later." She chuckled, unclasping her hand from his to cup his face. With both hands, she made him face her fully. She was smiling, but Satan bit the inside of his cheek, hoping he had enough control to not kiss her without her permission. "Little clovers."

"Little clovers?" He was lost, but that was not his fault. His attention was zeroing in on her cute little mouth...

"Your eyes look like little clovers, you know. I love staring at them." She explained, a dust of pink on her cheeks. "I think I really lucked out on meeting you. You make me want to stop being such a dick to everyone. Don't laugh." She added, looking sheepish as she let her hands fall to his shoulders.

Satan could not tear his eyes away. "I'm not going to laugh at you." He answered, unconsciously holding his breath. _lf I lean closer, maybe I could..._

"I'm gonna stop picking fights. It's stupid and I don't know why I do it." She shook her head, chuckling sardonically at herself. "I really like spending time just reading books with you. And... I appreciate you walking me home when it's late, or when you hang out with me when I'm working at the incinerator." Her face grew redder by the second. It confused Satan whether she was blushing because she was simply embarrassed of what she was saying or maybe she was just not used to talking about her feelings this way. Either way, his human was adorable as hell and Satan was soaking in every second of it.

"You're even angrier than me whenever I get a new bruise. For me, they're just normal to have, you know? Like... like losing a pencil." She hung her head, unable to keep eye contact any longer. Satan took hold of her wrists and shook them slightly to make her look at him.

"I like being around you too." He admitted, loving the way her irises thinned when she raised her head back up. "My brother used to be this amazing person, but then he fought with our father and he changed ever since. For a long time, he carried on prioritizing himself, pushing me and my other brothers away. His annoying pride was the biggest thorn between us and I... I hated him." 

The strangest part of talking about Lucifer was the lack of bite in his words now. It was not as if he suddenly _liked_ his brother. It was more like he just did not care anymore. Satan had more important things to shower his attention to. "But then he fell in love with someone, and I hated him more, because how dare he experience love after doing shit to me and my brothers. It was hypocritical and selfish. I felt betrayed."

His gaze fixed on their hands, his thumb gingerly caressing the spot of dark blue on her skin. It was enraging. There was still a lot of anger left in him yet, but this time it was for an asshole who kept hurting his human. "Why do you stay in that house?"

"I don't know." She answered, tugging her hand slightly to draw it back to herself but Satan would not release it yet. "There are times when I really hate him, like I have these fantasies..." She trailed off, but Satan knew what it was that she did not say. It was a familiar feeling for him too. There was the sudden urge to pull her close and press her tight against his chest. To wrap his arms around her and just stroke her hair. Now _this_ was a very foreign feeling. His body started moving, but then managed to catch at the last moment himself.

"H-Hey, you want to go back inside? Come to think of it, we haven't tried the food yet." Satan had never backpedaled so fast before. He stood and offered his hand to help her up. Her round eyes stared unblinkingly at him. _Would you stop looking at me like that? It makes me want to kiss you._

"Satan."

"Yeah?"

"Why are you suddenly changing the topic?"

Ah, caught and confronted. That was just like his human to not let him escape.

"Because I'm hungry." He answered, shifting his eyes away.

"The clovers tell me that you're lying."

_The damn clovers, huh?_ "Fine. I want to go back inside because being alone with you right now is not good for me." Usually being blunt was an easy task for Satan but in this case, blurting it just like that made him feel embarrassed. "I think weird things when we're this close."

"What weird things?" She asked, unbelievably clueless. She was not to blame though. Just a second ago they were talking about her dad and Lucifer. It was the demon whose thoughts kept jumping around.

There was a pause, with Satan running his hand through his hair in an attempt to not do anything drastic. "I'm not going to tell you that."

She appeared confused, but she took his hand and stood up too at least. "What's with that? I thought we were buddies." She mumbled, standing up and stretching.

_Well, you're now more than that to me._ Satan grabbed her hand and made her hook her arm around his. "I wonder about that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Satan with a crush is so cute~ don't you think?
> 
> Check out this lovely [fic art](https://juneedes.tumblr.com/post/625329745144479744/little-clovers-a-little-something-inspired-by) my talented friend [juneedes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/juneedes) made. They are so sweet and crazy and I luv them so much~


	4. Visceral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen : Blue Foundation's [ Eyes On Fire ](https://youtu.be/LAxCqlU-OAo)
> 
> WARNING : graphic depictions of violence

"Right, right. One more batch and I'm going home. Geez Blondie, you're like a nagging wife."

The human said as she made her way towards the incinerator with a heavy cart in tow, the thing loaded with folded cardboards, discarded props and decorations, and broken twigs from all around the campus. It was nearly nine in the evening, pretty late for a student to be lurking inside RAD without a companion, which was why Satan made it a point to not disconnect the call the whole time that she was working. Normally, he would hang around her while she worked, reading a book or working on his assignments while keeping watch despite the human telling him that he did not have to go out of his way for her sake. _He can be very thorough sometimes,_ she often thought to herself, but that part of him was more endearing than it was vexing.

"Really, a nagging wife?" Regardless if through a call or not, Satan's voice dripped with evident disapproval. And, perhaps, a hint of fluster in the muffled scoff that followed. "A-Anyway, just because I'm not there doesn't mean you get to stay out late again. Got it?"

She fed the last of the flammables into the fire, poking them with a dull metal rod to make sure they were well incinerated. "I got it, dear." She was only teasing, but to hear Satan choking on something on the other end reminded her how fun it was to just talk and mess with him. "You're studying for midterms, right? Finish the material soon so you can come pester me at work again."

"I'll do that. Prepare yourself." He responded before ending the call.

"Academy honor students really are different." She mumbled as she wrapped up, stomping out the fire by shovelling the cinders with dirt. After that, she cleaned the inside with a special long broom that reached the incinerator's far end. There was no end to the soot but at least the bottom was tidy even when blackened. "Alright, now to the convenience store-"

She turned while patting herself in an attempt to dust off the ashes, a habit that left her with the faint smell of char and gasoline. She was tugging her bag around her shoulders when she was stopped in her tracks. Far ahead in the dimness, a group of four men approached her, all of them tall and of athletic build. They stood, barricading the passage to the campus courtyard. Their faces were set scowling, clearly intending to settle a score with her.

_I think that's the asshole I punched last week,_ she recalled as she eyed the guy wearing the varsity jacket. Although she did promise Saran that she was going to stop picking fights since the ball a month ago, it was a completely different matter when she overheard varsity jacket guy say that they should try 'handling' Satan to force Beelzebub to join their team for the league semifinals.

_"It'll be fine, let's just shake him up a bit."_

_"That orangehead giant looks like a muscle brained idiot. I'm sure he'll want to save his brother in exchange for a little game."_

_"Shit, if only our ace didn't get injured-"_

Their conversation was cut short when she threw a ball of mud at the asshole's mug, the surprise of the sudden attack leaving him open to a good, solid drive to his nose. They could not react fast enough to punish her then, so now they chose to gang up on her.

"Hey, Cinderella. Where's your boyfriend?" The asshole jeered as the others took a step towards her. "Wait, lemme guess. He got tired of you since you wouldn't screw? Dating a dyke, poor guy."

_Holy shit, this bitch is annoying._ She rolled her eyes, the familiar heat of irritation itching her insides. As much as she wanted to learn it, patience has never been her best asset. Seriously, dyke? Fucking hell. But more than anything, more than whatever derogatory names they called her, they had no fucking _right_ to talk about Satan that way.

"If you got time to be here, you should've used it for practice." She answered, backing up until her back was to the brick wall of the incinerator. It was not entirely infernally hot anymore, but it was still warmer than comfortable. Slowly, without looking away from any of them, she wrapped her fingers around the iron poker that was stowed away earlier. A smile crept on her lips when she felt it pulse with heat against her skin. "No wonder your team is fucked."

Her mockery killed whatever games there was on their faces. How unfortunate that her talent to provoke people needlessly still remained. As one, the four of them rushed at her, their expressions livid and unfocused. She was prepared. Just as they were almost a meter of her, she swung the still-hot poker wildly with a guttural shout. The men drew back, eyes wide and backing away as she brandished the sharp iron like a sword.

"Try it! Come on, I'll cut you open!"

They exchanged nervous glanced between themselves. It was evident that one misstep in this situation could lead to someone getting seriously hurt. Varsity jacket guy appeared ready to pop a vein, but the others were not too keen on being impaled or even being touched by an incinerator poker. They were athletes after all. It was just as well that they were distracted in their hesitation, so that her visible shaking could be left unnoticed. _Shit, Satan. The things I could do for you._ It was almost laughable if she was not so terrified of the possibility that these four men would charge on regardless of her threat. They could knock her out, put her in the incinerator and lock the heavy door. Imprisoning her inside.

Just then, the memory of her conversation with Satan at the ball came to mind. He told her then that if she ever needed anything, she could call him. _So Satan, is this a good time to call you?_ She wondered as she steeled her features, turning them into a practiced expression that gave her the mask of a tough person. There was a full minute of tense silence as they stared down, gauging the risks. It felt too damn long. Thankfully they were not stupid enough to continue. In the end, varsity jacket guy clicked his tongue and kicked the dirt.

"Don't show me your ugly mug ever again."

He sneered, before signalling the others to fall back. They were gone in seconds, but the unbridled trembling of her fingers was nowhere near resolved. With a deep breath, she tossed the poker back to its place and went on her way once she felt a little steady again. "Right, where was I- oh, the convenience store." Two weeks ago her dad had come home grinning, saying that he found work. That news alone made her limp with happiness and hope. Things were really good, things were really coming together. Then, earlier that evening her father had texted her to buy some alcohol. So this alcohol was merely to celebrate, not to sate whatever alcohol addiction her father had left.

"Let me check your ID please."

The store clerk requested, his eyes sweeping over warily at her the entire time. She glared back. She was used to being asked for her ID because she looked young, but other than that, there was the constant guarded disposition directed towards her, treating her almost with as much suspicion as an ex-con. In the past, she would simply ignore the unpleasant looks because they were not completely unfounded.

In her neighborhood, it was normal to be the subject or numerous rumors. Currently, the prevalent rumor surrounding her was that she was a chronic pyromaniac, probably because of the strong smell of smoke and gasoline that clung to her clothes and in her hair. She could not help it. The academy asked her to increase her workdays since the school year was nearly over and there were plenty of papers to get rid of.

The clerk mumbled thanks and gave her the ID back, along with the cheap bottle wrapped in a paper bag. She left the store and made the walk home, counting her change along the way so that she did not immediately notice the odd lack of lights in the house. "Dad?" She called out when she was inside, worry and confusion in her tone as her finger found the light switch. It was not long until she found her father who sat deflated on the living room couch. He looked entirely crestfallen, even panicked, as he gripped the sides of his head tightly.

"Dad? What's wrong?" She made big strides to get to his side, to check for herself whether he was feeling discomfort anywhere. A fraction of her mind shot red flags, warning her to keep her distance. Because that slouch and that dishevelled look was familiar, reminding her of hours of tensed hiding from heavy fists that would hurt her again if they found her. But she ignored the warning and knelt beside him, gripping her father's arm.

Just then he screamed. So loudly that the very walls of their house shook. "They were undercover cops! Those sons of bitches fucking infiltrated and outed us!" He threw the glass he was holding with a shout, suddenly feral. The stark sound of glass breaking startled her. She could not follow what he was talking about, but it alarmed her nonetheless.

"Okay, dad." She spoke slowly, carefully. Her fingers were getting cold on their own. "What does that mean?"

"The coke! Those shits told me to stuff the bags here before shipping out!"

Coke. Cocaine.

It was not difficult to put two and two together. Her father miraculously finding work after years of inactivity, the sudden boost in their finances, the strange but sweet promise of attending her graduation with a 'truckload of flowers and gifts'. Things had been looking up too fucking fast and she knew it. Ignoring the uncomfortable doubt in the back of her mind had led her to believe that her father had truly changed and that these hellish chapters of her life were over.

But she was wrong. Wrong, wrong, _wrong_!

"The hell?" Her voice was low and shaky as she stepped back, away from the _man_. Disbelief, betrayal. Anger. All the ugly, disgusting feelings surged back into a heavy dark ball in her chest. Things will get better? What a joke.

But maybe she did deserve this, to an extent. Searching the _man's_ eyes, she found that there was nothing left there that could be the father she hoped to forgive. The _man's_ eyes were unfocused, glassy. More than feeling hurt, she only felt a heavy emptiness. There was no helping them, is there?

"Shit, the cops will swarm this place any minute! Help me hide the goods, alright?"

_You were a sorry, hopeless, selfish motherfucker all this time._ She could not curse this _man_ enough. The heavy ball seemed to grow bigger, heating up her insides until she shook with silent rage. So this was what despair felt like. It tasted bitter in her mouth. A hint of a smile latched on her lips when the image of little clovers passed her mind. Maybe Satan really was the only good thing she was allowed to have. _I wish I could've told him..._

"Show me where the drugs are."

The _man_ looked expectant. "Right here." In the couch.

"Step back." She talked quietly, fitting for a funeral. The _man_ stood by as she peeled the outer layer of the couch to reveal the brimming pouches of white powder. A coffin of cocaine.

"I didn't ask for much, but I wanted you to love me as much as I wanted to forgive you." She murmured. It surprised her how emotionless she sounded. "Guess I'll never have that." She added, as she uncapped the alcohol and poured the entire bottle, soaking the packages and the couch. Woken by the smell, the _man_ shrieked in devastation at the waste of a good bottle. Quickly before he realized what she was trying to do, she reached for her pocket where she knew she had a box of matches from work which she forgot to return.

_Not a pyromaniac, but an arsonist at least._

She thought with hollow amusement as she let the lit match fall. It bounced a little, but the minimal contact was enough. She watched, with an almost childish fascination, at the way the fire's borders clawed on the couch's surface until the entire thing was alight. For that moment, there was only red, amber and black in her vision. Colors swirling in a hypnotic rhythm. _Almost like a living being_.

Maybe all the pent up anger inside her gave birth to this thing. It seemed to call to her as it breathed, the heat reaching up to stroke her cheeks gently. One feeling dominated her as she regarded the fire, and it was _comfort_.

"RAAAGHHH!"

There was a roar, and in an instant the _man_ had grabbed her by the waist, violently yanking her away to hit her head on the tiled floor. A sharp pain, followed by a drowsy dullness. She could barely maintain the futile defense provided by lifting her arms over her face as the beating persisted, more rabid and violent than what she was used to.

"Fucking useless. Piece of shit. Just like that bitch!" The _man_ shouted, each word pronounced with an accompanying blow. "You think you can just leave me like that fucking cow? You think you're better than me?!" Displeased by the lack of pained reactions from her, the _man_ dropped his weight on her stomach. The impact caused her to cough wildly, her eyes bulging from the pain.

_Shit, my rib._ She did not imagine it when she heard the sound of a bone breaking. Breathing. Could she breathe? Her mind raced as a mind-numbing, lacerating pain hit her. Something primal in her woke, and it begged for release. Panicking, her hands went up to rake the _man's_ face. "Get... the fuck... off me!" She wheezed, voice scratchy as she clawed her assailant's eyes.

Her defiance only rewarded the _man_ whose hands now wrapped and tightened around her neck while still trapping her by sitting on her middle. Desperate, her legs flailed in efforts to somehow shake the _man_ off. A sick, gratified expression latched on his face as the pressure on her jugular worsened. That was until, from sheer luck, a beam from the roofings fell and hit the _man_ squarely on the spine, knocking him out.

The fire had spread sorely around the living room while they wrestled, and now it had almost consumed the kitchen as well. The bookshelf, the TV, the coffee table. Dozens of unrecycled newspapers and neglected bottles scattered. Cheap wallpaper melted from the walls as the fire took hold of the ceiling. Years of a make believe home eaten away in seconds.

"I should get out." It was common sense, of course. The fire closing in around her. But that was the problem, she could not get away. Because when that beam fell, it caught her too. Her unsteady gaze fell on her foot, bleeding in its twisted state. It nauseated her to look at it. "Maybe I'll just stay here after all. With dad." She mused as she dragged herself to at least sit up.

Beside her lay the collapsed form of the person who she thought she could become a family with. Clutching herself closely, her arms tight around her knees. She was suffocating, nothing she breathed in cleared the toxicity building up in her lungs. She was sweating so much but she felt cold. Her headache hammered her vision as the flames licked the carpet lying near her broken foot. Soon, she would faint too. Fall asleep to never wake again.

But there was something. A figure moving in the infernal blaze as if the heat was nothing. Unmistakable horns and claws. The silhouette of a segmented tail, twitching here and there as if the owner was in thought. She chuckled dryly, but everything in her pit screamed vicious pain. Raked and torn from inside. She was not going to last long.

"Demon." The word left her lips just as the figure stood in front of her, an assured air of confidence and strength with its presence. Weakly, she traced the newcomer's stature with her eyes. Those beautiful fingers, thumbing the edges of a hardcover. Blonde hair she fantasized running her fingers through, and a pair of focused, intelligent eyes.

Everything in this world had been nothing but hateful. Her father, her life, her self. But Satan was different. He felt pure to her, completely ridden of vanity and pretenses. He did not force himself on anyone, he took no shit from anyone. A silent, graceful wrath radiating from his presence. He just was.

"You knew."

The words he spoke unsettled her. From his voice dripped fondness, something she did not foresee to be something that he was capable of admitting. But it did not disgust her, no. Somehow, at such a time when she was in her last moments and her breath clawed desperately for air, her consciousness clung to it. That idea that at least for a short time in her meager, miserable life, she was appreciated. Perhaps even loved.

"I figured it out... during the dance." She grinned, albeit weakly. "What kind of mother would name her son Satan... unless you were the real thing."

Her throat betrayed her, cutting her speech with violent fits of coughing and painful wheezing. The oxygen in the room was not enough no matter how much air entered her now. She had little time left.

"Then you must know why I came."

He towered in front of her limp and dying body, fervent panic buried in his stone cold expression. His face never fooled her because she was always looking into his eyes. His lovely, clover shaded eyes.

"What good will it do for you?"

She coughed, her vision blacking out fast. She felt him move closer. He must have knelt down. With all her strength left, she willed herself to focus. He looked a bit frightened as he stared, his mouth murmuring words that did not sound human. A gruffness surrounded his voice, almost like the centerpiece to the orchestra of the raging fire. _A spell?_ She wondered. She smiled but it was weak.

"You ask me what good this will do for me." He spoke when he finished chanting. "If you give me this, I will be happy. Very happy."

"Why would this make you happy?"

"You. I want to keep you. Be mine forever."

She could barely contain her laughter, which was unfortunately just her coughing and shaking for a long time. "But forever is due for a few more minutes now."

He took her hand and carefully kissed it, lament and resolve in his expression. "I can make it better." He leaned closer, looking deep into her eyes. "Say yes." He pleaded.

She stared back, mesmerized at how so much innocence could be embedded in a demon's soul. He knew how she cared nothing for herself anymore. Her life was bitter and bad from beginning to end. There was no reason for her to stay. But by saying that it was for _him_ , he made it so that she could not refuse. He knew, they both knew how they cared for each other.

"Don't look like that." She said, feeling weak not from the fire or the lack of oxygen or the fact that she was dying. She felt weak because Satan's face broke into the sweetest, most brokenhearted smile she had ever seen in her life. There was relief overflowing there. And triumph. And love. So much love.

"I will do it. Make a pact with me, Satan."

"Thank you."

Tears rolled down his face. It was unexpected, but her chest felt full at the sight. Before she realized it, she was crying as well. She did not know until now that becoming bonded with someone she truly felt a deep connection with could be so filling.

There was the sensation of something soft and warm around her. Not like the heat from the fire, but something more delicate. It was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.


	5. Overture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to be an intermission chapter since the next one is unreasonably _long_.

  
It enraged Satan that he could allow things to progress this far without intervening. Back in the Devildom, his patience had been something he forced himself to perfect. He had to, because he was the avatar of wrath. But now that things had come to this... he was not sure anymore if holding back all this time was the better choice.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered in his human's ear as he bent down to wrap an arm under and around her knees and back. With a huff, he lifted her, careful not to jostle her too much lest her injuries worsened. "I'm so sorry." He could not stop himself from repeating the words, over and over. He had performed so badly. He was a demon, for fuck's sake. He could have protected her better. He knew what her home situation was like, he even made sure to watch over her at work because many of her enemies at RAD attacked her by the incinerator.

And yet he still failed.

"I should have stayed beside you always." His voice shook in his frustration, his arms tightening their hold around her when he stopped, realizing that he was crushing. In an instant, he loosened his grip and after getting her out of the swiftly burning building, placed her on a safe patch of green grass on the neighbor's lawn. Earlier he had cast a cloaking spell around the property so that anyone who came across the burning building neither smelt, heard nor saw the fire raging inside.

He watched her closely. Her body was too limp for his liking. Quickly, he fetched a towel and drenched it with water to pat around her neck, her forehead, and a bit on her chest as much as he dared. He was not certain if what he was doing was helpful. He was no physician, but he hoped this helped lower her temperature and made her more comfortable.

But something did not feel right. She was not breathing with as much stability as Satan wanted. He realized, with fear, that he might lose her if he did not get proper help. _Calm down,_ he reminded himself, but he had enough of calming himself down. He could not do this alone. At that moment, there was only one person he could think of.

Without delay, the demon pulled out the small piece of metallic curve from his pocket. Muttering the spell carved on its surface, Satan pricked his thumb until there was blood. He dropped the bookmark, followed with a drop of his blood, then called out his brother's name to complete the summon. There was a burst of black vapor, a sudden chill in the air. The next moment his brother materialized from the blackness, two pairs of demon wings spread and raised in their full six feet span.

"Satan." The look on Lucifer's face was very unusual on him. He looked _touched_ , then he cleared his throat as if to compose himself but when he spoke to Satan there was a permanent small smile latched at the corner of his lips. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this summoning?"

"Lucifer, she..." Satan trailed off as he turned back to the form of his human on the grass. "Please help her. She's got three broken ribs, a nearly dislodged pharynx, a severely twisted foot and multiple beatings." The avatar of wrath had to pause, wetting his lips as it dawned on him how much his human had to suffer because of his lack of action. _Shit._ "Please, help her, Lucifer. I'll do anything-"

"You already have. Look," the older demon gestured, making Satan turn to the human whose head was slowly lolling towards the side with a low groan. "You did well. She's just sleeping." Lucifer gave his brother's shoulder an assuring pat before stepping closer to the girl. He crouched next to her, his wings twitching slightly as he assessed her condition. "Go tend to the other human inside, Satan, and put out the fire before it reaches the neighbors."

Satan knew, objectively, that his brother was very skilled in many fields. Lucifer was capable. He knew that, but it was only in that instance when Satan actually _believed_ in his brother. It was a strange feeling, and it made him blush a little at the realization that he actually felt relieved now that he was not alone, and that Lucifer was here to help. He felt like he had the strongest possible ally in the entire three realms.

It did not take much to take out the fire but when Satan came to, he found that it was nearly dawn. He had her father hospitalized when he received the call from Lucifer that his human's physical health was fully restored, and that long hours of deep sleep will complete the healing. "I made her drink some Nocturia tea. She'll be out for a while." Lucifer explained when Satan nearly freaked after she would not wake at all no matter what he did.

"You take care of her now." The avatar of pride said, rolling his sleeves down and stepping close to the other. Lucifer's hand cupped his little brother's face and gave him a long look. "You look tired. Get some rest too. You'll need it when she wakes up."

"Yes... sir." Satan's words were the same as ever, but they were not spoken in the stiff, distant manner he always used. Lucifer understood, smiling as he turned his back to the other demon before dissolving into a puff of black snow.

Satan turned his attention back to the human who slept soundly on his bed. Strangely enough, Beelzebub was out despite the very early hour. It was past four in the morning and Satan's eyelids suddenly felt heavy, as if he was just reminded of how exhausting the night's events were. He had felt invincible with Lucifer around, but now the avatar of wrath was just tired. He watched her sleep, the desire to slip inside the covers and lie down next to her creeping fast in his mind. Festering until it latched on, loud and demanding inside him.

"No, that's..." Inappropriate. That was the correct word, but his brain would only acknowledge _perfect_. His gaze trailed over the outline of her relaxed features, her defenselessness. The urge quickly became a need, and he was not virtuous enough to deny himself. Like a moth drawn helplessly to the flame, he lifted the blanket and carefully tucked himself in beside her. _I want to hold you... so much._

The demon sucked on the inside of his cheek, his hand reaching for hers. He squeezed it when he found it, the warmth easing him into a sense of rightness. Somehow, this felt right. Rolling onto his side, Satan crept closer to his human to whisper in her ear. He breathed her name, making her stir a little. "Can I keep you?"

His human exhaled in her sleep and snuggled against him. His arm immediately slung over her waist without his thinking, pulling her closer and snugger to himself. Being this close to her made Satan feel so many things, all of them fuzzy and warm, and just indescribably _good_.

"I love you." He said, placing a light on her temple. Warmth diffused in his chest at his confession and he could not get enough of it. Deep in her sleep, his human ground her teeth together, with a mumbled, "stupid... Blondie..." leaving her lips. Chuckling, Satan closed his eyes and went to sleep.


	6. It's not because of the Nocturia tea

  
Perhaps the only time when Satan would be unaware of himself is during the short time when he is half awake. His brothers frequently pointed it out to him that Satan is very well behaved, even as a demon. Neat and restrained, but also straightforward and honest. He would have been better suited as an angel rather than his brothers.

But now, in the security of his room where the world was kept out with layers of drape curtains and a heavy blanket, there was simply one thing that he focused on. The steady, unmoving warmth which he incessantly, almost forcefully, pressed into his chest. He clung tight to it, tightening his arms around his human's frame. He buried his face in the warmth of her neck as he shivered slightly, like ribbons unravelled and spilled over a cherished present.

There was a rush of unprecedented possessiveness in his gut when she fainted against him after making the pact last night, the overwhelming need to protect her leading Satan to crave the touch of her skin. _Mine, mine mine mine..._ he stubbornly thought as he was pulled further away from slumber when she stirred and called his name.

"Satan."

The demon noted the dry quality of her voice. Whether it was from the fact that she just woke up or from the strained events of the night prior, Satan decided that he liked it very much. If he could have his way, he would like to wake up and hear her voice like this more often.

"Your room?"

That was all she asked after taking a long look around the room. Was she not going to ask about what happened after she fainted? Or the fact that he was a demon? Satan wanted to check her expression, but he could not since somehow she had turned in her sleep so that Satan was hugging her from behind. If this was any other human, they would obviously feel harassed to wake up in such a manner. But his human was not shaken at all, which led Satan to think that she trusted him. Even after knowing that he was a demon, she was not afraid.

"Yes. This is my room which I share with my brother."

"His demon name is Beelzebub, isn't it?"

It impressed Satan that she knew his brother's name. After all, they did use false human names to blend in at school. "Yes. He is the avatar of gluttony."

"It was dumb to call him Karl as a human name. I mean, he never responded to the name even once when I tried talking to him. But yours is dumber. I mean, Tom? Come on." She said, her fingertip drawing light circles over the back of Satan's hand which was still holding tightly around her middle. Not seeing the motion made him weak to the sensation. Biting his lip, the demon tried to focus on other things, like the gentle upward slop from her waist to her hips, the lovely bend of her elbow. Or like the attractive scent of books and ash in the growing tufts of her hair. Satan, tantalizing as these details were, desperately anchored himself on them. He had to, or else something _else_ would react.

"You seem very interested in my brother." Satan audibly grunted, but if she noticed, she did not make it known.

"I wanted to ask him," she said, treating his words as a question. Her finger stopped to pinch his skin slightly, seemingly toying with it for no reason. The randomness of her actions deeply affected the demon, but he did his best to hold it in. From what Satan observed as he embraced her from behind, she had no idea what was going through his mind. "I was curious, I should say. I wanted to know about that brother you had deep resentment for." She paused, and then she added. "If I could, I wanted to make it better for you. Somehow."

Satan fell silent. To have someone think of his situation, his own problem, as their own. It was such a wonderful feeling, being seen and cared for. His demon heart grew tender at her words, and he felt inclined to pull her closer. He buried his nose further into her hair, wanting to completely remove the space between them. _Even now that you had your house burnt, your father fallen to depravity, you still think of me?_

It was ridiculous how significant they had become to each other.

It was almost as if...

"You know how I feel towards you, don't you?"

Satan swallowed as he waited for her response, but she did not speak any more. Instead, he felt her body grow a little warm on his arms. Shifting his fingers, Satan made his human turn to look at him. He stared at her square in the face, frowning at the sudden blush that had spread on her cheeks.

The sudden tension between them caught Satan off guard. An electric, tangible feeling that he could taste. The demon's body turned rigid. Taut in anticipation, but he does nothing to remedy it. Instead, he found himself unwilling to tear his gaze away from her, eventually finding himself paying attention to her lips which, as if in response to his eyeing, parted slightly, offering him a visceral view of her mouth. It was the final drop before his cup of reason ran over. Losing all prudence, he pulled her closer by her shoulder and leaned in. Their breaths met, and then they were kissing.

Fireworks shot and burst into many colors in the back of his mind. Tingles, like many little needles, stroked every inch of his being. From his chest to his arms, to his torso and down his legs, to his toes. He has never felt anything remotely like this before. His very blood rushing in his veins, pumping loud in his ears. Without meaning to, his lips sought more, his eyes closing as he did. Brazenly plunging his tongue deeper in while she complied. A part of him wished that she would push him or bite him off, because he feared that he had little control left. No one gave him permission to kiss her, to touch her like this. No one ordered him to do this, and yet he was forging on ahead, acting on his own volition. The more confounding part was that she did not appear disgusted or forced. Did she perhaps want this way before this happened?

Wanting some form of consent or confirmation that this was not against her will, Satan pulled away with tremendous effort. Kissing her satiated the restless, longing part of him that had been suppressed since the dance, and perhaps for even longer. However a bigger part of him which was more demanding, impatient and ruthless, insisted that kissing barely scratched the itch in his gut. He _had_ to have more, whether or not the rational part of him agreed.

Her face was completely flushed when she spoke breathlessly. Her eyes a lovely shade of dazed and color. "Your roommate..."

"He's out." Satan murmured back absentmindedly as he dove in for a kiss again, a little more demanding than the first. Nothing rough, but _plundering_ in all sense of the word. Taking and taking, as if marking a possession for the first time. It felt _too_ good. Her little gasps which quickly disappeared into his mouth, were hardly sparse as he continued to kiss her.

Gradually his hands travelled down, gingerly caressing her front. From her stomach, up towards her chest. Her breath hitched. Satan pulled away, watching her closely as his hand cupped her breast, squeezing it tentatively from over the sweater he lent her. She did not say anything, but her eyes closed while her back arched up, the sensation overtaking her. 

Satan's face flushed at how his hands seemed to move on their own, like a demon possessed, which he probably was. "So soft..." The words left his mouth gruffly before he knew it. He noticed her head droop, her body curling around herself. Like a flower at midnight, shying away. Frowning, Satan pulled her back so that his chest was once again flush against her back. "If you don't want me, you must say it clearly." He whispered to the skin of her nape. "I'm your demon now, and you are my master. If you will it, I will stop."

His human huffed, trembling from the stimulation rather than fear. "Satan, m-my body is... hot..."

"I know." Satan mumbled, barely keeping himself together. _Get some rest too. You'll need it when she wakes up_... Of course, Lucifer knew this would happen. The Nocturia tea, aside from being a heavy narcotic, was also known for its aphrodisiacal effects on humans. _I have to take responsibility_ , he reasoned, as if he had not begun this endeavor out of his own inability to keep his hands off.

Satan planted a kiss on her forehead as he thumbed the hem of the borrowed sweater, a silent question on his lips. _Can I touch you?_ Her eyes were already glassy when Satan looked into them. His human nodded meekly, appearing very innocent towards the intimacy. This situation in which Satan found himself handling the lead brought him a strange excitement, a shameless perversion of possibly laying hands on someone not yet deflowered. 

Perhaps she held her breath as he pushed her shirt up, because she was so quiet save for her shallow breaths. Slowly revealing her bellybutton, next the outline of her ribcage pressing her skin from inside, finally to a pair of teacup sized breasts which featured peach colored nubs framed by the milkiness of her skin. Literally, the demon's mouth _watered_ with saliva which he swallowed back. His mouth, drawn to those lovely stiffened nipples, closed around one without delay. Satan _moaned_ at the taste of it, the fact that her body shook at the touch stroking his want even more.

The demon was not thinking when it happened but he had already pushed himself on top of her, trapping his human on her back beneath him, legs parted to accommodate him. Hungrily, his tongue made love to the pert nub in his mouth, lolling around it and nipping it lightly before pushing it past his lips and sucking it. Her back arched wonderfully in response, spurring him on. Every so often, his clover hued eyes would flit open to watch her, admiring the way she gasped and _moved_ and melted against his mouth.

"You're so lovely." Satan breathed into her neck when he pulled distractedly away. His pants were a little too tight to be ignored now, unconsciously easing the built up tension by pushing his clothed erection against her thigh. He was keenly aware that she had not included permission for him to do so, and he genuinely wanted to respect that, but it was exceedingly difficult to stop and think. Wrenching his hips away, the demon brought his attention to his human, who had flushed harder than was humanly possible when their eyes met. "What is it?" He frowned, panting just slightly.

"I... feel strange." She admitted. There was a note of unease in her voice amidst the breathy quality brought by neediness. Satan knew it was the tea's fault, but the fingers clutching on the fabric of his sleeve did little to remind him of his boundaries. Especially when she appeared embarrassed beyond description, absolutely adorable to behold. "Satan, it's... poking me..." She shifted reluctantly, addressing the hardness nudging against her.

The demon pursed his lips. He was _so_ close to the tipping point. "Yeah..." Rolling his hips forward made him shiver and his muscles tense. _I want to have sex_. Perhaps Nocturia tea did not only cause arousal in humans, but made the drinker unfairly desirable as well. Satan had never experienced this desperation to _fuck_ before.

"S-Satan!"

"Mh?" The demon grunted, only then realizing how ruthlessly rough he was as he rocked against his human in a sort of blinded search for relief. Gritting his teeth as he ceased his movement, Satan nestled his face by the crook of her neck as his heart thundered away. Her pulse was delightfully fast too, making the demon smile despite himself. "Sorry, I'm just..." _so horny_. He felt stupidly one track-minded, like a horse on blinders. It was not like him.

"Don't be." She breathed out, her hand reaching up to rest and tug on his hair. Her skin was warm as Satan nuzzled into it more. _So comfortable_. "You feel really good. But I don't think I want to go through with this."

At that moment, Satan felt his skin curl, slapped by unexpected rejection. Why? It was going so well. She was moaning and gasping and arching her back earlier. She was even drugged. _Wait. What the hell am I thinking?_ He paused. A wave of nausea crashed, directed towards himself. That he would take advantage of his special person in this way, when they were drugged. He should be better than this.

"Hey, calm the hell down, you." His human pinched his cheek to pull him out of his wildly digressing thoughts. The sting was nothing, and he was able to focus back on her. She smiled, stroking his face. "There you go again. You're so serious that you don't notice how you sometimes jump to wild conclusions." She said, chuckling when Satan raised his brow in silent question. "I... like that part about you too. I like you, Blondie."

"I told you, I don't like being called-" Her words did not sink in as fast as he heard them, so Satan had to stare at her for some moments, blinking as he turned her words over and around. Until it made sense. "...You like me?"

She scowled, not liking his disbelief. "Yes, dumbass. That's why this," she gestured towards their positions, huffing in embarrassment. "Let's do this on another time when I'm sober, alright? I feel drunk, or something."

Satan frowned. He was still very much erect, especially after her confession. "But I'm horny." He made sure to phrase it in a way that was either going to fluster her or irk her. The reaction he got was a mix of both.

"Well, I am too- hn..."

Feeling childish, aroused and impatient, the demon did not let up and instead leaned forward, grinding their hips together. They both groaned at the short lived pleasure, gasping into each other's mouth. For a moment his human was swept up his pace, and Satan captured her lips again. Kissing slow and deliberately that made his cock burn deliciously.

"Mnh... I told you... let's fuck later when I'm sober...!" She gasped out when she managed to push the demon off a little.

"You sound sober enough," Satan retorted, his movements becoming erratic. They were both obviously turned on by the situation, although she was right. Saving. But... But. Satan could not wrap his head around the way he was being so uncharacteristically stubborn. Pushy. _Bickering right now is so silly_ , he mentally grumbled. "Fine." At last he found it in himself to relent, but he was still going to help her ease the Nocturia tea effects.

"I want to at least get you off," he mumbled, his fingers ghosting over her underwear, which was a white lacy undergarment with silk ribbons that could be easily slipped off. Glaringly provocative, but a better option to lend to her rather than his own boxers. _That Asmo, giving this as a parting gift._ The Satan from a year ago would never have thought he would have use for such a thing but there he was, slipping his hand under the flimsy fabric, watching his human closely as his fingers sought her entrance.

"Good?" He asked when her body twitched and shivered around him, the fingers driving inside in a slow rhythm. The demon revelled at the warmth emanating from her, hypnotized by the slick sounds that accompanied her suppressed moans. "So wet," he chuckled when her walls clenched, prompting the demon to curl his fingers upward, knuckles deep, slowly pushing her to the edge but not quite.

The situation chased all coherent thoughts from his mind. All there was left was the weight of the heavy blanket on his back as he knelt between her legs, fingers buried in her hot tightness while his other hand held one of her ankles in place, spreading her nicely. Every so often, he would shove his tongue in her mouth, eager to remind her that her lips were his now, before tracing down worship her breasts. Satan would repeat this over and over again, pulling out his fingers when she neared orgasm. His favorite part was the way her head tipped back, hair sticking to her neck with sweat, sweet mouth hung open as the demon drew slow, teasing circles around her stiffened clit, before plunging back in that tight, wet hole.

"S-Satan..." She whispered, eyes shut tight and voice needy, her forehead dotted with perspiration. "... I'm almost..."

The demon had lost count on the number of times she had to tell him that, yet she has never begged him to let her cum. Truth be told, Satan did not picture himself to have teased his human for this long. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted to prove how wrong she was to put off their first time. "Go on." He breathed against her mouth, this time his motions faster, intended to make her finish. Her fingers locked on his nape, holding him closely as the moans escape her throat. She gasps the demon's name in breathy whimpers, in between whispers of _please please please_. Satan groaned, imagining that it was his cock inside her rather than his fingers, muscles tensing to give her pleasure. _Fuck..._

"...Love you..." He managed to grit out before her walls clamped, imprisoning his fingers as her body quivered in her orgasm. The demon persisted with his fingers even as her hips swayed away, delightfully sensitive.

"S-Satan... stop already." Her tone was that of a whine, so uncharacteristically adorable of her. Her fingers, turned cold from clutching his shirt so tight, reached up to cup his face. His human pulled him for a grateful kiss which tender and slow as she caught her breath. Satan pulled his fingers out and settled on top of her. She made no complaint about his weight, and instead pulled him closer so that the demon could feel the loud thrumming of her chest.

Satan was just drifting through the feeling of satisfaction from pleasuring her when she spoke his name again. "Hm?" He hummed against her temple. He felt drunk on her.

"Roll over. I'll jerk you off."

Satan choked. "Couldn't you have worded that a bit more gracefully?" The demon did as told anyway, rolling them over so she ended up on top of him. Now _this_ was a good view.

"Would you have preferred I 'beat your meat' instead?" She joked, beaming as her hands travelled down the demon's chest. Her eyes were sort of glassy but bright, and her cheeks were completely flushed. She looked so lovely in her orgasmic glow it was crazy.

"You are killing my 'meat', buddy." Satan did his best to look unamused, but at this point he was too smitten to pretend like he was not loving this, the way her legs spilled to his sides and straddled his hips. _I mean, her hair is sticking out in so many wild angles._ How adorable was that?

"I can see that." She was being sarcastic, of course. He was still obviously and painfully erect. His human fixed her attention to his tent, just observing it in silence. The demon was not used to being _ogled_ this way, and it somehow made him self conscious and sensitive at the same time. Minutes felt like years as Satan waited with bated breath, wishing she would just _do_ something. The anticipation was killing him.

At last his human moved, but she was sliding off and away from him, settling herself on the bed between his knees. Satan stared, puzzled when suddenly she stretched her leg until her foot tapped the demon's chest. Her other foot rested on his hip, rubbing his abdomen and lifting his shirt up in the process. His breathe hitched as her foot which was on his chest tickled his neck before slowly trailing down his tense muscles, until finally resting atop his trapped erection.

"Mhn."

The demon drew his head back. The foot only lightly massaged him from over his clothes but it made him gasp and shiver nonetheless. Closing his eyes, Satan quickly fell victim to the sweet friction. It felt so good, but it was barely enough to satiate him. His brows met, senses focused on only the amazing firmness that rubbed against him. He was so lost that he almost could not hear when his human spoke.

"Do you want me to touch you directly?" 

His throat betrayed a whimper as Satan nodded, unexpectedly pliant when suddenly his clothed tip was pinched between toes and his hips bucked up in the air, a groan escaping his throat as his eyes shot open. "Fuck," he gasped, eyes meeting hers. Hell, she was watching him the whole time. "Fuck you. Do that again."

She chuckled as she set to work on slipping the waistband of his sweatpants low enough to free him. A foot rested below his bellybutton while the other pressed on him so he was sandwiched snuggly between her feet. Like this, he could practically feel his member throbbing against her skin. She was teasingly slow but good, dragging from toe to heel in repeated circles. Effectively spreading his precum over the length. She made sure to give attention to _other parts_ as well, aside from giving him a surprise squeeze at the tip, which he so liked, every now and then.

The little glimpses of her underwear whenever she raised or parted her legs slightly were not helping either. Before long, her movement became rougher, and Satan, in his dazedly blushing and panting state, desperately rocked his hips in efforts to have more contact. Something about being fully clothed, with only his sloppy cock exposed made it all the more naughtier. He had never had anything like this before. It was messing with his head.

"Don't stop." The demon growled out, frowning as he mustered the little focus he had left to pull her body closer using his legs, dragging and messing up the sheets. His thrusts were getting more erratic, shaky as his insides curled tighter, deliciously tipping him towards the edge. "Don't stop, please. I'm so close..."

As if to indulge him, the feet moved faster, squeezing his aching cock tighter until Satan's head emptied. _Fuck, I'm-_

"Cumming," he informed, suddenly gripping her ankle and pulling it harshly as he knelt up, desperately masturbating with his other hand until warm semen spilled on her leg, painting it his color. He stared dazedly at the thick glistening drops, unconsciously running his palm over the skin to spread his cum. It was not until the fluid dribbled down to the sheets that the demon came back to his senses. He leaned towards his human and kissed her gratuitously. "That felt so good."

"Glad you liked it." She hummed, drawing away from his lips to kiss his temple. They were both pretty exhausted at this point and with his human nuzzling Satan's neck, it was a given that they would fall back asleep. The Nocturia tea should still be in effect and now that Satan kissed her lots, he was getting heavily drowsy himself.

"Man, I had no idea that giving a footjob is such a workout. I think I'm gonna be sore tomorrow." His human chuckled as she arranged their clothes for sleep and pulled on the heavy blanket, burying the two of them as they lay beside each other. "Satan," her tone was quiet as she took his hand and kissed it, their joined hands bearing the mark of their pact on their inner wrists atop of their lifelines. "Before you are my 'demon servant' or whatever, you are my bestfriend. But you know, I had a bestfriend before too. She was my mother, but one day she just left without saying anything. That's why," her eyes were filled with something like panic when they met his. Her grip on his hand tightened as well. "If you could be here when I wake up, really, that's all I need."

"I'm not going anywhere." Satan promised, pulling her body close and hugging her tight. _I'm all yours, can't you see that?_ "Aren't you a hogger? Act like it."

"Get over it, Blondie." She laughed into his neck but her voice was dry and faint. When Satan checked, she had fallen asleep, hand still clutching his own as she breathed deeply.

There was still the smell of gasoline and cinders lingering on her hair as he inhaled her scent, too happy to believe that this was she, that they had done those amazing things earlier, and that he, the avatar of wrath and the only demon who has never fallen from grace before, could have her.

 _When she wakes up, we'll have breakfast together, have coffee, read books, and visit that cat café I've been meaning to invite her after midterms._ Satan was going to make sure that he was not anywhere else when she woke. "And then I'll ask you to be my girlfriend." The demon whispered, a wave of embarrassment and giddiness crawling up his back as he went to sleep smiling.


	7. Epilogue: A life of plain drop caps

"I'll get going now. You stay here and don't make trouble for the nurses."

She spoke firmly as she stood, gathering her things and moving about with a cold disposition. Going to the hospital was something she was denying herself to do, as ruinous as her last interaction with her dad went. But then Satan convinced her that morning after the fire. When she woke up, he was so sweet and unfairly kind that when he popped the proposition, she could not refuse him. And so she was 'forced' to promise a visit with her dad.

Of course, she was not happy seeing him. It felt like a dead rat had been sitting in her stomach when she saw him, all helpless and bruised on the hospital bed. The beam that had hit his spine had done great damage, but nothing permanent except for the possibility that he might not move the same way again. _A fitting punishment,_ she thought contemptuously when she first heard about it. _Now you learn how it feels like to be helpless in your own body_.

God, no. She did not want to be like this, being bitter and thinking that her dad deserved what he got. But she was still learning to forgive him, and that would take her a long time. Perhaps years, maybe her entire life.

"You're frowning."

A voice spoke beside her, and instantly the mean thoughts went away when she felt Satan's fingers slipping between hers when he stood beside her. She squeezed her demon's hand, saying a quiet _thank you_. Then she spoke to her father again. "Do you have anything to say to me? _Dad_?"

Saying the word burned her from inside in many ways. A little part of her, the stupid, gullible, exploitable side of her that until now did not give up on this man on the hospital bed, still clung naively to the hope that her dad would just love her again. Just like before, just like when she was a little girl with bobbed hair he unskillfully cut, on a makeshift swing that he made.

"Baby..."

Oh fuck. Oh god, no.

The inside of her cheek was bleeding, bitten harshly in her effort to _not_ fucking cry in front of this man who has hurt her for so, so _so_ many years. It was not fair. Seeing him covered in thick bandages from third degree burns, half his head shaved for stitches, his words slurred not from alcohol but from the multiple medicines he had to intake. This was so unlike the strong burly man she was used to. And it was messing up her mind with contempt, worry and _satisfaction_.

"Baby, I'm sorry." Her dad croaked, a tear falling down the side of his cheek as his one open eye tried to focus on her.

She looked away. It was too much. The tears would not stop falling as her knees buckled and Satan caught her. She cried for a long time while her bestfriend held her, lending her his shoulder to soak her sorrow into. The demon patted and rubbed her back soothingly as he murmured her name and reassuring words into her ear. He was trying to help but his kindness was making her cry more.

"Let's go, Satan." She mumbled and grabbed the demon by his arm, not daring to look at her dad's face right then as the nurse entered just in time for the medicine. She needed time to think. It was embarrassing how easily she broke into tears at the sound of her dad's voice. "Haha, that was so strange." She tried playing it off, but she knew Satan was not going to judge her. She watched those little clovers as they looked at her, all bright and patient and _loving_. "Thank you for being there, Blondie."

"My pleasure, M'lady." The demon answered coyly with a bright smile on his face as he helped her dry her face, aware of how the nickname embarrassed her. He was not even surprised when a heavy palm whacked his arm. "Now, we have a graduation ceremony to attend to." He said dramatically, with an exaggerated gesture at his watch.

"Crap. I might not make it in time." She sighed, sucking up her snot and hoping her face was not too messed up to put makeup on. "Do I have to have my hair and makeup done? I mean, it's just a graduation."

Unexpectedly, Satan was unrelenting on this matter no matter the amount of whining and bribing she made. "No. You cheated me at the ball once. I want to see you in a dress this time."

"But you thought I was a boy! I did not cheat nothing on your demon ass." She pouted. He was so fixated on the strangest things. "I wanted to wear that cool necktie you bought me a while ago."

"Wear that thing another time. Anyway, Beel says he's waiting for us at the parking lot. I think- oh, he's there. Beel, over here!"

Satan was speaking too fast for her to make sense of what he was saying that the next thing she realized, she was face to face with the orangehaired giant that was supposedly the fearsome glutton demon Beelzebub. She had never really spoken directly with him before, and Satan hardly imposed a strong demonic aura in her opinion so she was not at all prepared to be under the demon's scrutiny. Which, as it turned out, was nothing scary _at all_. In fact, Beelzebub gave the impression of a very large dog.

"Hello. I'm Beel, Satan's brother and roommate at RAD." He greeted, emanating a cheery and friendly vibe. They shook hands, and she immediately liked Beelzebub in the two seconds he spoke. "Satan's told me _lots_ about you."

"Shush, Beel." Satan snapped, although not unkindly. It was more out of embarrassment, if his blushing cheeks were any indication. "Anyway, let's get going. Asmo says he's already at the dorm."

"Asmo?" She asked, confused. The question was left unanswered though. "Satan, mind telling me who Asmo is-"

"Yeah. Gimme one sec." Beelzebub said as he widened his stance and assumed a focused expression. There was a wisp of black smoke from out of nowhere, and after a flash of light Beelzebub reappeared in his demon form. Without another word, he gathered the human and his brother in each of his strong arms and fluttered his gossamer wings so they lifted off the ground, going higher and higher up until the hospital was the size of a Lego. "Hold on." The demon warned before the three of them literally _hurled_ in unspeakable speeds through the air. The human, eyes closed and teeth clenched in a silent scream, nearly choked Satan in her grip for dear life when they finally stopped and landed on the RAD dorm rooftop.

"F-Fucking... Blondie." The human stammered, spirals appearing in her vision when Satan hooked her arm in his to steady her stumbling gait.

"Thanks for the help, Beel. You'll be at the ceremony, right?" The avatar of wrath ignored his human's cursing as he addressed his brother.

"Yeah. I think I'll be."

The glutton did not sound so sure though as he bade goodbye to the other two and flew out the roof. With much struggle, Satan managed to half carry half drag his human down the stairs to the floor where his and Beelzebub's dorm room was. She was teasing him, making herself heavy and uncooperative simply because he looked pretty when he was a little annoyed. "Sorry, Satan. Love you?" She would say, pecking his lips with chaste kisses. He would scowl and grumble before saying those special words back.

"I spot lovebirds!"

A cute voice knocked the two of them out of their own world. Inside the room stood a person with wavy strawberry blonde hair, amber tinted eyes and perfume so sweet it was borderline horrendous. "You two are so adorable together. Who would have thought little edgy Satan would have such a _cute_ girlfriend. Ah, are you guys into threesomes? Lemme in if you do-"

"Asmo." Satan turned to his human, gesturing towards the stranger in the room. "My brother Asmodeus, the avatar of lust. Don't mind what he says. He already has a lover who you really don't want to mess with."

"Oh, don't say it like that, Satan." Asmodeus giggled, striding towards the human. "But yes, I'm _sadly_ off the market." He took her hand and kissed the back of it as a way of greeting. "Nice to meet you, kitten."

She did not hesitate take that hand which held hers and kissed the back of it in return. "Nice to meet you too, Asmo." She said huskily, smirking at the demon.

"Why are you two flirting when I'm right here?" Satan interrupted, placing himself between his brother and his girlfriend. The two of them laughed together in amusement but Satan was not having any of it. "We don't have a lot of time. Asmo, she needs-"

"Please, Satan, you have zero clue about makeup." Asmodeus beamed, eyeing the human who winked back at him. The demon decided that he liked her. "I know just what she needs."

It was not even twenty minutes later when Satan was called back in the room after he was kicked out. His human had been dolled up just right with light makeup which his brother obscurely described as "garden daylight look", her now shoulder length hair iron curled inwards and perpetually brushing her rosy cheeks. Around her a clover colored fairy dress framed her modest but shapely figure, the tulle fabric bunching up the skirt so that it reached to just above the knees.

"Well?" Asmodeus prompted expectantly.

Satan cleared his throat, looking down on his shoes. "It's a shame all of that is going to be covered by the toga."

"Wrong answer, mister." The avatar of lust sighed disappointedly as he turned to the human. "Come on, can't he at least admit you're pretty?"

"I mean, he's not wrong." She chimed. There was no need for Satan to compliment her if he is blushing _that_ much. "I think dolling up is fun now because of you. Thank you, Asmo bear."

"Asmo bear. And I get Blondie."

Satan muttered, the slightest tinge of envy in his voice as he reminded them that they were trying to catch a graduation ceremony. Goodbyes and promises to see each other at the venue were hastily made before Satan and her went on their way. She was not at all used to the three inch heels that she was wearing, a situation to which Satan remedied with an assertive hold on her hand so she could steady herself.

RAD graduation ceremonies in the human realm branch were traditionally held in the largest castle that was inclusive in the estate. This one was different from the one that was used for the winter ball, as that one was next to the garden. The graduation ceremony was held with the heavy castle doors bolted open, showing off the lucid surface of the lake that was beyond the structure. This was where the graduation photo took place, followed by the tossing of caps which was marked by the flight of surprised swans that were taken care of in the campus grounds.

As every year, the ceremony was blessed with good weather. That might have been a factor why she could not help the bittersweet swelling in her chest. She had done it, and she was terribly proud of this diploma that she clutched tightly in her hands. Suddenly Satan was beside her, holding a humble bouquet of gypsophila tied together by a deep green ribbon.

"Congratulations."

He was smiling as he stood in front of her, the lake to his back. The sun was high up in the sky, firing up his blonde hair into wisps of gold. Pinks on his cheeks, and a tenderness in his green eyes as he regarded her like she was the most special thing in the world.

 _Thank you._ She mouthed, loving it when he smiled back before taking her hand and taking her to where Beelzebub and Asmodeus stood. They gave her flowers and gifts and hugs when she came near, but there was a gentleman with them, one she did not yet meet. "Um..." She was puzzled, because somehow a part of her found this man awfully familiar.

"I'd like you to meet my older brother, Lucifer." Satan spoke quietly. She could tell that her demon was antsy about this introduction. "He's the one I told you about."

 _Oh._ Of course. Although it was rude to stare, she found herself doing it anyway. That reserved, aloof demeanor was very like Satan, as well as the subtle hints of a defensive tendency to self isolate. Lucifer, the avatar of pride. The most beautiful angel that fell from grace for defying God, the one person that Satan resented for so many years.

She held out her hand without taking her gaze off Lucifer, who took her hand and shook it. "I don't like what you did to your brothers, sir, but do know that I admire you deeply for rebelling against your father. I've dealt with the same shit, you see."

"And what did you do?" Smiling slightly, the older demon asked with a surprisingly deep voice. His words sounded smooth like velvet, adding to this air of sophistication around him.

"I burned the house down, but you know all about that." Of course, Satan filled her in on what happened. "Thank you for your help." She released his hand, then added. "The Nocturia tea, not so much." _We could have gone all the way that day if I wasn't under the influence of an aphrodisiac,_ she mentally clicked her tongue.

Her comment apparently amused the former angel enough that he laughed with his belly. "I see. My brother was not forward enough to devour a savory meal practically served to him."

This haughtiness was familiar as well. They really were brothers. "I'll serve him whatever meal he wants, alright?" She snapped, although it was lightheartedly said. Beside her, Satan was visibly exasperated from this exchange.

"I like her, Satan." Lucifer chuckled, leaning close to her so he could speak in a lower volume. "Do you want to come with us to Devildom after this? You can make it your post graduation trip. Also, I am completely positive that my little brother will wither in loneliness without you beside him."

"Lucifer!" Satan barked, looking a hell of a lot embarrassed.

She ignored the blonde and whispered back. "You're a matchmaker in your past life, huh? No Nocturia tea this time?" She asked, holding out her pinky with a devious look which Lucifer was happy to entertain.

"No Nocturia tea this time." Lucifer assured and then they pinky promised.

It was unbelievable how her life could change so much in a span of a year. Her house was burned to the ground, her dad had shown a speck of remorse that he had never spared her in a long time, she had graduated, met new good friends and managed to follow her dream of book designing. All of it started when she met this amazing blonde guy with green, clover hued eyes. He was crass and edgy and snobby at first, but he became such a treasure to her over time. He was and is her bestfriend, her lover, her demon, and the man she will always have beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this far~! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I was making it. This story is filled with stuff I've always wanted to try writing, and I was thrilled to just write Chapter 4 (big fan of all that fire and arson angst stuff >u<). This is also my first time publishing an f/m smut scene as well as my first footjob scene (the amount of reference _videos_ used for this fic istg... @_@) so I hope I can hear your thoughts on how I did. *cue massive sweatdrop*
> 
> Here are some references while I was writing the fic:  
> [[1]](https://www.writingforums.org/threads/chemical-results-of-burning-cocaine.155286/) on burning large amounts of cocaine  
> [[2]](http://jaapl.org/content/40/3/355#ref-6) on arson, pyromania and firesetting  
> And of course, the writing setlist:  
> NΣΣT's ["Stella"](https://soundcloud.com/neet/stella?ref=clipboard)  
> > Hozier's ["Arsonist's Lullaby"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCMpHbYz9BE)  
> > Hozier's ["In the Woods Somewhere"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlfCfEfbO48)  
> > Sasha Sloan's ["Ready Yet"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4KfKUCJyNg)  
> > Blue Foundation's ["Eyes On Fire"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAxCqlU-OAo)  
> > enonimu's ["Gypsophila"](https://soundcloud.com/enonimu/gypsophila)
> 
> Satan was such a fun character to dabble with, and in my heart I feel closer to him now (compared to how much the game lets me). Did not expect that he was going to be the "slow tender kisses" type of guy but it suits him so well, don't you think?
> 
> This fic was so serious so I hope to write a cuter one next time (I am leering at you, Asmo~). Hope to see you in the next one!


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